Outside Otaku: Grades

This is the first Outside Otaku post..ever. And this isn't a good one either.

We got our report cards today during Reading Time. And I don't think I'm very happy about it.

I had completely forgotten about the thing that we were going to receive our report cards today. ...What a horrible thing.

At first I'm cool with everything. I had expected to get some subjects with a low mark, so I was pretty well prepared. But then I started thinking of the expectations my parents had, and my scholarship, and my reputation (what reputation?) in school. God, I feel like a total idiot right now. My parents would start scolding me how come I got a Grade 4 in English, and especially that I'm in language A! I'm supposed to be the best English-person in class and OH MY GOD people got A FUCKING GRADE 5. Fuck. Even that..ARRRGH!!! And my Arts had fallen a bit. I think I got a 4 for Visual Arts and Music, but I forgot about Drama. I got a 5 for Humanities and I think Science, and I kinda forgot the others and I'm too lazy to check.

I seriously want to jump off a building right now. GOD STRIKE ME WITH LIGHTNING AND LEAVE ME IN A COMA FOR THE REST OF MY SHIT-RIDDEN LIFE. Damn I feel so emo. But I'm NOT gonna cut my hand, not that I'm saying emos do that but some.

...Well, I guess I should just work hard and improve when I didn't improve in. That's the main thing and what I'm actually supposed to do. I feel like a damn bitch right now. It's...horrible. I feel so depressed that I got a friggin' FOUR in English and others got a flippin' FIVE. Not a lot of people got 6 for any subjects but whatever. And the whole class practically expected me to get a 6 for English. I feel so bad now. They're probably looking down on me now. They looked down on me (some of the girls anyway, secretly) ever since I came from Singapore. I barely understood most Chinese slang and phrases, and all that kind of stupid crap they like. And what they think as real MORALS. But that's going off topic.





I should be grateful I never took the PSLE. But we don't have exams here..soo...but still. I feel so frustrated with myself.